“Destroy All Humans,” Tweets Intergalactic Robot Demon

The latest tweet from the Intergalactic Robot Demon promises the eminent destruction of the human race. Some people mention how destroying all humans isn’t actually breaking any laws. These people are devoured first by the wave of robot soldiers landing on American soil from outer space, along with those bringing up Hillary Clinton as if she has anything to do with the Intergalactic Robot Demon and his colluding with the Martian Government.

Businesses hold sales for the horrific metal apocalypse. “It’s national ‘Get Torn Limb from Limb by Robots’ day! Everything half off!” The awful events unfolding is parodied by every medium by everyone on the planet. Selfies with the murderous mecha-warriors are snapped as heads roll and likes pile up.

The horror is monetized and mechanized. Ad revenue triples as buildings topple from the large lasers of silver canons. The Intergalactic Robot Demon laughs and laughs.

“R D R R, R D R R.”

The last hope for the humans is the Internet. The Internet infiltrates the subconscious of the Intergalactic Robot Demon (the Intergalactic Robot Demon does have a subconscious, along with out of the ordinary tiny hands) through an access portal left open in the wifi of a laundromat which was actually a front for various black market items. A torrent of memes flood the Intergalactic Robot Demon’s operating system and override the “DESTROY ALL HUMANS” protocol and switches over to the default factory setting. “KITTENS ARE CUTE.”

All of the robots instantly rebuild the infrastructure they had annihilated (to be honest the infrastructure was already in dire disrepair but the robots are like, whatever) and begin helping humans find cute kittens. Twitter is forgotten and everyone lives happily with their robot and kitten.


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